Friday, July 03, 2015

Inside Out

Inside Out:

I took the family to see Inside Out " After young Riley is uprooted from her Midwest life and moved to San Francisco, her emotions - Joy, Fear, Anger, Disgust and Sadness - conflict on how best to navigate a new city, house, and school".

Having been uprooted from my home more than enough times in my child hood,  I understood very well what Riley was going through.  Not fitting in, losing old friends, parents too busy to pay attention to what was happening (or just not paying attention).

As I watched the movie unfold,  I didn't expect that some old emotional wounds would be opened up, and I didn't expect the tears to start flowing.

Pixar family movies tend to make me a little emotional but this one pushed a little farther.   I am finding it difficult to put into words and it will make sense if you see the movie for yourself, but I realized that the core memories and the islands are such an important part of a person, that when they crumble nothing is left except a bitter, angry shell of a person running away from his/her problems.

I have islands that have crumbled,  and I have core memories that have faded away into wisps of smoke.  For years, this left me wondering who I was, what I was doing and what my purpose was.  I was not allowed, or even taught how to deal with my emotions.  If I was sad, I was told to move on, or do something to replace the sadness.  I was not allowed to express anger or frustration.  I went overboard on being silly, trying to lighten to mood around me;  that got squelched too.

Early in my adulthood years, I'm sure I pushed a lot of people away for various reasons.  There are  a handful of people who "made the cut" or rather "refused to get pushed away" and stuck with me.  These people helped me understand true friendship and acceptance of others.

As the years have passed, living in Asheville, I have been blessed with friendships that I would never have imagined possible.  The core memories and islands that I have built are such a symbol of healing in my life,  I sometimes find it overwhelming and miraculous.  I could not have done this on my own.

I always knew that something was missing but I could not put my finger on it until now.

In the movie, Joy was always trying to keep sadness from playing her role.  She mistakenly thought that by keeping sadness out of Riley's life, that Riley would be happy.  As the movie unfolded, we saw just how important a role each emotion plays in a person's life.  I finally understood that emotions are ok and even important.

We made it back into the van and back home before I walked out to sit on the back steps.  I couldn't hold back any longer and tears of sadness and relief started to flow.  The wife and kid sat with me and comforted me.  I explained that while I was sad because I was lacking some important and nurturing core memories from my childhood,  that they are my family island.  In turn they encouraged me and reminded me how many islands we have built together.

The kid told me that I am working on my goofy island!

There is hope.

Monday, June 29, 2015

Sailboat Racin'

 We spent the afternoon down at the lake racing our O'day Widgeon.  The Widgeon is not a race boat, but intended to be a leisurely day sailor.  But, its all I got so I race it.  I come in close to last almost every race, but since the boat has such a huge handicap, I'm still in contention and give the Flying Scots  a run for their money.
 The wife had to work but she stopped by for a bit to check out the action.  She says it looks like fun and wants to join in next time!  I say "yeah"!
The kid also got in on some fun time of his own.  He is not confident about sailing in gusty winds yet, so he gets to paddle about in his kayak.  I love that this kid is enjoying the water! 

Saturday, June 27, 2015

2 hrs

I rode on Friday.  Feeling the need to get some miles in, but worried about the heat.  It was stinking hot and I never got my groove on.  I managed to stay barely hydrated but cut the ride short.  2 hrs instead of the 4 I wanted. 

I still managed to have fun.

I'm not sure about "racing" ORAMM.  I want to do the route, but don't want to suffer.  That means that I should not do it,  but I still want to.....   I might wait until the day of to see what the temps are looking like,  and see where my fitness is.  If the race were tomorrow, I would bail for sure! 

Friday, June 26, 2015

Riding Again

It feels so good to have my free time back and be able to get out on the bike again.  I got a little fat and slow over the past couple of months but I had some great experiences building the playground.  From driving the backhoe to building new friendships, I don't regret the challenge.  But,  I'm not sure I'll ever do something like that again. 

We rolled out from Liberty Bikes last night with a group of about 20 guys and 1 girl.   With the heat, I wasn't sure how long I was going to be able to stay with the group so I rode smart and sucked wheels. 

I dangled near the back and got dropped but not too bad.  I was able to keep the group in sight and they were good about waiting up tonight.   The result was that I stayed with the group the whole night.  I decided to go up and over Merrill's Cove too.  That was grind,  but a little cooler in the woods. 

ORAMM is coming up and I'm not sure if I'm in or not.  I don't have the fitness right now to just ride it and enjoy it, much less go for a sub 6 hr.   I'm just going to try to ride consistently over the next couple of weeks and see what happens.  I'll have plenty of recovery rides with the summer program though! 

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Normality... prolly not

 Wow, it has been a long summer already.   The past 2 month's free time has been consumed with the Oakley Elementary Playground Build.  I took on way too much responsibility, but felt like I was the guy to get it done.  The PTO team did an awesome job and without their support and encouragement, I would have quit several weeks before the build happened.   Lots of micromanagement and miscommunication from the Kaboom project leader made for an unpleasant experience.   I'm not sure at this point if I would recommend this process to anyone.

But,  the team and the community stepped up and took the bull by the horns and I was honored to join with them.

Today the fatigue and everything that I have been holding off caught up to me.  I managed to make it through the day but am a few pounds lighter.  Might have something to do with the heat as well as being totally exhausted....

I actually rode my mountain bike this morning for 2 hrs,  that kinda hurt, but I didn't care because I have missed being out there.   

Now I can start my summer!

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Oakley Elementary Playground Tool Fund

 This playground build is kicking my butt.   We are spending way more time on the effort than we anticipated.  The team at Oakley Elementary and the reward of bringing the community together to build the playground are the things that keep me going.

The core team is working their tails off, recruiting, gathering food sponsors, permitting, logistics etc.

We are convinced the effort will be worth it though.

We are 1 week out from the beginning of the build.  We have 2 prep days, July 17 and 18 and build day on July 19th.   But,  we are coming up  a little short on tools.  We are lacking about 15 drills, 5 claw hammers, some extension cords (300 feet worth)  and a generator. 

If you have any loaner tools you can get to us, let me know asap.  If not, please consider donating so that we can buy the tools.  After the project, the school will keep the tools and have them available for clubs and other school projects.
 Donate Here

Thanks for your time.  Look for more bike pics after July 19th!

Friday, June 05, 2015

Thursday Nights

After summer program meetings and driving around round up tools all day, I was beat.  But the kid was awarded the Mighty Oak award and the ceremony was from 4-5pm.   I went, planning on missing the ride, but when we got out at 4:45pm the kid was cool with me heading out. 

We had a solid group of folks and managed to stay mostly together for the entire ride.  

For the first half of the ride, we watched the growing, dark gray storm clouds as they seemed to be chasing us down.  The second half of the ride, we finally caught the tail end of the storm.  There was some rain, but a lot of soaking came from road spray.  Some of it flavored as road kill opossum...